i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
