I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
