Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
