Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm passing your future prison.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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