haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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