the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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