Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
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