Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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