i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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