It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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