hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
please don't ironically join a cult
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