New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize