She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
