Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
