Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
