You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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