Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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