Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
