Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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