i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
