if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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