god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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