first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
