Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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