I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Never joke about your clitoris.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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