It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
