so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
