so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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