I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
