I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
