Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Randomize
