I molested 6 butterflies tonight
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Pants are for mortals
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
