It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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