I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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