At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
