did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
im holly from the hills drunk
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
