Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
