Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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