Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
