Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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