he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Someone shit on the floor
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
