If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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