It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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