I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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