I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize