I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
