I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
