Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
