This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
