You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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