It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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