My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
