a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
