shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
