well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize