I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
the gays at disneyland are vicious
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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