I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
