They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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