there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
They are going to name an STD after you.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
is it fun? or sober?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
