we're blogging at a bar
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
so let's talk penis.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
