try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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