Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
