at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
