i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
