I looked at my own cervix.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
