If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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