if only i could text you this smell
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Randomize