Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Drunk is not a location!
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