spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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