I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
