Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
