I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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