Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
