how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
