You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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