Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
