Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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