You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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