watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
