I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize