Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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