You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
