Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize