I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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