I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
